I´m a fighter

Yesterday was a really tough day. I couldn´t sit, I couldn´t stand, I couldn´t eat, I couldn´t drink, all I could do was to squirm in pain under my blanket. My headache was at it´s worst, I nearly threw up because of it. Every muscle and limb ached and I wasn´t able to lie still and get to relax even a bit. I absolutely hate those days, and I am so glad I´m feeling better today.

// Picture from We Heart It //

As many of you know, I am currently staying in a rehabilitation center. I´ve been here for over two weeks now, and was supposed to go home this wednesday, after three weeks. But, since things haven´t really gone my way - the fact that I´m worse now than I was when I got here - my supervisor and I have decided that I will stay here for another two weeks. I soo badly want this to work, and I don´t want to go home feeling like this - both fysically and mentally. I will give this a second chance, and then we´ll see. If it doesn´t work I guess I am not ready for it. But I will continue fighting, I will not quit.

~ Sarah ~

Update from rehab

I know it´s been forever since I´ve posted something, but I´ve been all caught up in things here at rehab. Things are going ok, could have been a lot better. I try to stay positive at all times, but its hard when you feel like things are going in the wrong direction.. I am worse now than I was when I got here, and I´ve been here for two weeks. I thought I was supposed to be better.

The first two days I was a little shocked about how much I thought I was supposed to do, and after two days trying to do it all I was totally exhausted. But then I had a meeting with my contactperson up here, and we developed a plan that we thought I was able to follow. That is the same plan as I still have: maximum 15 minutes of activity a day. But the thing is that going from my room to the cafeteria is activity to me. Eating in a room filled with people is activity. Chatting along with them is exhausting. Dressing before/after my "real" activity is hard. It´s all tough. 

On the bright side, I am able to do soo much more now than two months ago. It is progress, and I so badly don´t want that to be ruined.

So, today my activity was a walk with the group and we did squats and lunges before I had to leave. The rest of the group continued with other basic exercises that we can do at home without any equipment. Other days we´ve been in the gym, doing Tai Chi on the grass watching the sun rise, regular walks, strenght training outside etc. The others have exercises in one of the pools 4-6 times a week, but I´m not allowed to as it takes too much energy to shower and get dressed/undressed twice + swimming. That sucks, but I know it´s right as I tried joining one of the swimming sessions my first day here. 

But, it´s not all bad. In fact, I´ve spent every day positive till yesterday, so if I´d written a post then, it would have sounded a lot different than this. That post would have been smiling itself. 

Other than that, I´ve watched lots of movies and TV-shows on netflix, been drawing a little and nitting a lot. Now I´m excited for tomorrows talk with my contactperson, and see if she have a plan to get me back on the right track. We will also discuss whether I should stay here for another week. I am supposed to go home next wednesday, but maybe I´ll be here longer. 

The other day, me and one of the others here went out in the boat. He rowed and I enjoyed the peace and quiet. I took some pictures for you guys, but other than these I barely take pictures even though this is the most idyllic place ever.

And this is something I drew the other day. Not finished, but I don´t really know what more to do with it.

~ Sarah ~